Looking in a Mirror

These past few days I have found myself looking at Madeline and seeing myself so much and it really freaks me out.  She is growing to be her own little person.  She is  talking so much.  She talks about the lights, sun, moon, stars, books, pens, shower, bath, food, poop, etc.  Every time I tell her something and ask her what she thinks she always looks at me with those big eyes and says:  "Wow!"  She is too cute.  I don't really see myself in that, I guess that would be a little cocky.  I see her grand mom in all that I have listed above.  She has the heart of her grand mom and is always looking to help others.  

I see myself in her stubborn perseverance.  If she can't accomplish something that she thinks she should she gets so angry.  So do I.  She is hesitant to start something new.  Two days ago we went outside and she was trying to step up on the curb.  She picked her feet up a few times just marching in place until she was sure and then she took the leap and stepped up.  She won't do anything unless she is certain she can accomplish it.  I am the same way.  I have always struggled with anger.  I get angry mostly at myself and I unfortunately see her doing the same.  If she can't accomplish something she gets mad, as I said above, but she also can't control her emotions yet (which is normal) so she ends up getting mad and yelling or throwing herself on to the ground.  Oh those raw emotions!  I love this little girl so much!  My chinese teacher asked me the other day which kid I loved the most.  I quickly explained to her that I don't love one more than another but there are days where it is easier to be understanding with one over another.  I think I have higher expectations for Maddy because I see so much of myself in her.  All those times I watched shows or movies and saw moms planning their daughter's weddings I would get so frustrated.  "Let them do things their own way!"  I now realize that it isn't because the mom is trying to be a jerk (at least i hope not) but because we love our little ones so much and want them to be better than we are.  We often push them to be better but forget that we are pushing too much.  I need to accept the fact that my daughter is her own person, created by the Father to be exactly who she is.  My job is to raise her in His likeness.  My goal isn't to make her better than me but to make her more like Him.  What a task!!!