I haven't done this yet cause I've been a little preoccupied and trying to process everything has been a little much (more details below). So here is the story of Emma-Mae's birth:
Wed., January 11 -
As you can see from my blog about being 39 weeks pregnant I was getting a little antsy with our little girl not making her way into the world yet. On Wed. the 11th I had an appt. at our hospital that was very disappointing. The good news I received was that the baby was somewhere between 3-3.5 kg so we didn't need to worry about a large baby. The hard part was that they did a physical exam and told me that I was not effaced as much as the other doctor said (4o% instead of 75%) and then we started talking about the plan for induction. Chinese doctors think very differently than American doctors. Because China is very big they don't really think in patient/doctor relationships so they often think of you as a number. This applies to the interaction and also in treatment. When Maddy was in the hospital we got no special treatment and were not communicated to on an emotional level, only given information we needed to know. So far the Chinese hospital catered to foreigners has been very flexible but I have discovered that this is not true in physical exams. My exam was very rough and considering the fact that my cervix had still not moved forward it was even more rough. I returned home disappointed and uncomfortable. It looked at this point that we would be doing the induction.
Thursday, Jan. 12th -
We had 3 appts. on this day at the foreign clinic with our American doctor. At the end of this visit the doctor stripped my membranes and told us that maybe this would help us to go into labor but at the least would help me to be more ready for induction on Monday. We returned home to eat lunch and I started feeling some back pains. I looked it up on the internet and heard some women say they had this procedure and were delivering a baby by the evening and then others that said it took time. I was hopeful but didn't want to read into my regular back pains every 10 minutes too much. Nate had a meeting and Maddy took a nap so I laid down and rested for a bit. We had dinner. Around 7 p.m. the pain in my back started to move around to my front and was about 5 minutes apart. I wasn't feeling any pain, just discomfort, but Nate insisted that I call the doctor. We called and he recommended I go to the hospital since my labor with Maddy started similarly. We made some calls, got a sitter for Maddy, a driver, and started moving to the "leaving for the hospital" plan. We put Maddy to bed and then jumped in the van.
8:15 p.m. -
We got in the van and headed to the hospital - had to turn around once cause I forgot some paper work - and then arrived at the hospital around 9 p.m. When I arrived I was met by two nurses, my foreign doctor, the midwife, the president of the hospital and other Chinese people I didn't know. They did a physical exam and confirmed I was starting into active labor so we headed to our room to allow me to labor a bit there. The Chinese were very impressed with my ability to laugh with Nathan at the beginning and then stop when a contraction came. They often thought I wasn't as progressed as I was and then would respond that I was very "lihai" (fierce, strong) because of my ability to go back and forth. The contractions began getting a little closer and by 9:30ish they were 2-3 minutes apart and getting so intense that I would get on all 4s on the bed and have Nathan apply counterpressure to my lower back. Unfortunately, as noted above, China's a little behind in medicine in the states so I asked for a heat pad to help with the pain and was refused so just had to get through with squats and counterpressure. I was also not allowed to get in the shower. I was very grateful that they let me move around alot. Around 10:30ish they decided that I has probably progressed enough to head up to the 8th floor (delivery room) and see if we have progressed to begin labor. This is when things took a turn for the worse :-(
10:30ish -
We got in the elevator to head upstairs and the contractions were very intense. Often Nathan would stop to help me get through one and they wanted us to move so quickly that they would just tell him to "move, move, get up, go, walk" and sometimes wedge him with my wheelchair. He was holding his own and being super supportive for me :-) We reached the delivery room - which was a big open room with one bed in the middle and lots of windows everywhere. They put me on the bed and were debating on what to do with me. In the Chinese hospitals they have the women stay on their backs for all procedures during maternity (ultrasounds, etc.) and delivery which was a very uncomfortable position for me at this point. This led to lots of tug and war with us because they wanted me to sit still so they could do what they needed to do but sitting still was incredibly painful. There was a huge commotion as they tried to break my water in the middle of a contraction that were now coming every minute and I was squeezing my legs together and screaming on my side. This felt like the longest hour of my life. I was not a very good patient and I think the stress of being instructed in two different languages was also difficult. I looked at Nathan and begged for an epidural. They said they'd need to exam me first and see what we could do. Now the only way to handle the pain was screaming for me. At one point I told Nathan I did not want this baby anymore because it hurt so bad and told the doctors I wouldn't have the baby without an epidural (the stupidity of pain!). Note: I wanted to do this without any meds cause I was worried that getting the epidural with Maddy may have made my pushing not effective. At this point of my absurdity the doctors revealed to me that I was already fully dilated and it was too late for an epidural. My only option was to push this baby out. Nathan says at this point something switched in me. Thanks be to the Father I was able to switch in gear and focus on the task at hand. One thing I loved about this delivery is how clearly I was communicated with about how to do the pushing. The foreign doctor informed me of doing two breaths and then two times of just pushing while the midwife was encouraging me to put my body in a "C" shape to push and helping me feel where she wanted me to push. I got into gear, didn't feel the pain of the contractions anymore, and started the process of pushing the baby down. Part of my problem was that Emma-Mae didn't drop until this point in delivery so on top of checking the water the midwife was also trying to push on my belly to see how the baby was turned and trying to turn her in the right direction. She was not a very gentle woman and was described by Nathan as "gentle as a gorilla" - more will come on this.
11:49 p.m. -
We worked together as a team and at 11:49 p.m. Emma-Mae Pressley Forrest was born. We had a 4 hours 50 minute delivery. She was 3.3 kg and I am still unsure of the length :-( The scary part was that Emma came out blue and though I could feel her out and see her I did not experience relief because she had not made any noise. I told Nathan to go with them to work on her and was left with a nurse on my left, giving me an IV, the gorilla fingered midwife at my feet and my baby, who wasn't crying, at my back. My foreign doctor was so patient and understanding and his calm kept me calm (well, in this situation). They worked on her and later informed me that she was moving and opening her eyes but she had some sort of secondary apnea where she just needed a kick start for breathing. Then I heard her voice. Relief! Then I was brought back to the pain of me. :-( They delivered the placenta and then started stitching me up. This was a super traumatic event for me. The midwife, not being one to really focus on what I am feeling as a person but just as a one of the many, began stitching me up without any meds and was also cleaning out the rest of the membranes, so basically examining me physically while she was sewing me up. It was SO painful!!! There were few times I was standing up in the stirrups because her aggression was so painful. Then she was putting pressure on my abdomen to help the bleeding to stop and she was putting her full weight into that as well. I was being poked and prodded everywhere and was literally dancing with this midwife who was doing the poking and prodding. I was rolling, dodging, standing, kicking, anything to lessen the pain. My body was convulsing I was so traumatized. It finally ended and they told me to just lay there for two hours while they observed me. We waited. We ate timtams (Thanks, Christa!) while Nate held Emma-Mae. We were all exhausted! Emma didn't really want to eat at the beginning but I was so tired and hungry I just didn't care at this point.
Friday, Jan. 13 1:30 a.m. -
They let us leave the delivery room a little early so we headed back to the 2nd floor to our room. Once we arrived in our room we were left alone. Emma began to eat well and we settled into the idea of being a family of 4 now, though Maddy had still not met Emma. Maddy stayed with a good friend and her 4 kids and would in fact be in the bed at this current moment. Her whole world had just changed and she had no idea. We talked to family and headed to bed.
Now-
We are now napping lots and enjoying the one on one time with Emma-Mae. Maddy came to meet her today and once she walked in the door she headed straight over to Emma and was saying "baby" and "Emma" while trying to touch her and kiss her. I am feeling much better and the tylenol is helping. We have pictures for a photo album (gift from the hospital) and head home tomorrow. We are ready to be in our own beds. home, eat western food, and be out of the spotlight (as there is only one other baby here). Please lift up our transition from a family of 3 to a family of 4.
Name -
Many of you may want to know the meaning behind the name. Well, we always liked the name Emma but it didn't fit for Madeline since her middle name was Terri and Emma Terri sounded too much like cemetery :-) For this one we decided on my maiden name, Pressley, as her middle name and Emma Pressley was too close to my name so we added the good ole "Mae", chinese for beautiful though not the same spelling, to spice it up and appease my love for hyphen names. So there you have Emma-Mae Pressley Forrest who will go by Emma or Emma-Mae.
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