Disclaimer: Please do not read below if you are looking for something lighthearted and cute. It may make you cry.
Tomorrow marks one year of being without Nathan's mom - wow! That was hard to write!!! - I can't believe a year has gone by without her presence. I feel a little bad writing about this and processing it because I know there are others out there - her husband and sons - who are also processing and may not want to be reminded more of their lose. :-( I'm sorry.
Tomorrow is also my mothers 60th birthday. When we lost Nathan's mom last year we were with my parents and my mom felt awful. As you can imagine, this day is marked with happiness - my mother's birthday - and sadness all at once.
I feel so awful that life has continued without her - how can it? I go through days where I don't even think about it and something will happen and I think, "Mom would totally love that!" Or I have a question about parenting and I think, "Mom would know the perfect way to handle this." And then that sinking feeling happens in my gut and I realize that she WOULD have loved it and WOULD have had great advice. Past tense. Nate and I have decided to set aside the day tomorrow to process together and we know without knowing that it is going to be hard. To think about her opens wounds but to not think about it is impossible.
The saddest part, I feel, is Madeline. Madeline has her grandmom's middle name and will unfortunately never get to meet her on this side of eternity. I know that she would have been a FANTASTIC grandmother. The day she found out that we were having a baby she cried.
So to end this post I feel like I must end on a good note by focusing on how great she was. For those of you who did not get the honor to meet Terri Forrest I must say you missed out. She was the sweetest, humblest, gentlest women I have ever met. Her life spoke sacrifice and service. Her eyes were absolutely beautiful and her smile could light up a room. She always picked on her "boys" because they were always doing silly things that were so "bad" as she called them. She loved unconditionally and was a great mother. Her last few days on this earth I was able to sit with her and tell her how much I loved her and my one thing I remember saying to her over and over again was, "I wish to be half the mom that you are!" My husband, and his brothers, loved her like no other. She was a great mother and knew how to see all things in light of eternity. My life is better because of her and I think...I know many will say the same.
Mom, I miss you and know I will see you again some day! I look forward to it :-)
2 comments:
Emily, although I was Blessed to have worked with Terri a few months before the Lord took her to be home...I feel as if I had known her my entire life! She indeed was a wonderful women of God and I know she was a wonderful mother and wife as well, and as I read your words it just reminded me once again that we all have a very "Special" one of a kind ANGEL watching over all of those who really and truly cared for her while she was amongst us! Take care and God Bless you and your beautiful family!
Emily, my heart goes out to you and your family. I remember all of you in my prayers everyday. I was blessed to have know your mom for about 7 years. We became instant friends when she began working at the Courthouse. She was everything you posted and more. Her faith, and love of her family and friends inspired me. I miss her so much. She and I took several road trips up to Maryland so she could see her parents and then I would go on up to New Jersey to see my dad. We would have the best time always laughing and sharing. She was so proud of her sons and she loved and thought the world of you and Heather and Whitney. She lives on in our memories and in her children and Maddy. In Christian Love,
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