New Mercies

I have talked to many people about this but I figure what a better way to process through it and know that I can come back and reflect than to blog about it. So, here I go:

I am not yet a parent, technically. If I qualified myself as anything it would be a temporary parent for now. Meaning, we have a 1 year old about 3 weekends out of each month. However, the joke that many say when people ask, "Are you going to have more?" or "When are you going to have kids?" and the answer is, "We love playing with them but then being able to give them back!" that is where I would say we have been. I know that we are preparing to start the journey of parenthood in a little over 3 months but in the meantime we enjoy having our little JB but also enjoy the time, while it last, of being without the responsibility. We have it pretty easy, baby on the weekend, free during the week. This leads me to my point. Thus far in my journey of parenting I have discovered that sometimes babies are not the easiest to deal with. Don't get me wrong, JB is one of the easiest babies I have ever seen. He giggles and cuddles and most of the time the only sound you hear is to tell you his diaper is bad, he's hungry, or he's sleepy. However, that sleepy cry often sounds like his angry cry, which I am glad I can now tell the difference! That is the cry that gets me. It is the cry that happens in the middle of the night when he should be sleeping that is saying, "I am sleepy but I can't sleep and I just want to be poopie!" Granted, I can't really blame a child because what other form do they have to communicate than to scream their lungs out? I am miserable when I am unhappy why should the same not apply to them? But in those moments I find myself, I apologize for how horrible this sounds...super annoyed and looking at this dear sweet one saying, "What is wrong with you?!?" I know this is horrible, but I am just being honest. He will finally calm down and go to sleep and then I return to my bed thinking, "Ugh! Why?" (This episode has also occurred since now JB knows that he can roll off his blanket intentionally (we think) and then cry knowing that we will come put him back on...sneaky little guy! :-) ) So, I may go to bed sometimes irritated but the thing that always amazes me (my big point)...

Every morning when I wake up after he has slept through the night and I walk in the room and say, "Good morning, JB!" His face lights up and he giggles. It is in that moment that I am filled with such love for this little child and I forget how stinky he was the night before. This brings me to a parallel idea...

I think this is a glimpse of what David meant when he said our Father's mercies are new every morning. I may be annoyed as anything at this little guy when I go to sleep but when I wake up in the morning it starts all over with a clean slate. I am fallen, don't get me wrong, so my mercies may not be so new but it is just a picture of the fact that His mercies are new every morning. PTL!