6 year olds being killed...
I cried as I read each article. How could this happen?
(begin rant...)
Today, I was on a walk with the girls and found that someone had thrown trash in a neighbors yard. As I was cleaning up someone else's mess (someone who is NOT my child and is big enough to know better) I began to be so angry. How can we be a country that has so much and yet we can't seem to put our trash in a receptacle? I collect so much trash in my car but you don't see me rolling down my window and tossing it out! Carry a trash bag! Geez!!!! Ok....
We sat down for dinner and we were discussing how this horrible CT massacre could have been avoided and Nathan pointed out that yesterday in China a man went into an elementary school with a knife (because guns are illegal in China) and harmed 21 people. No one died. Yesterday in CT a young man entered an elementary school and killed 20+ people with a gun (which is allowed in our country). Now I know that China is a communist country and that is no way to live but I often wonder if our "rights" (when the focus & seen as something we must have rather than something we get to have) can lead us to cause harm to others. I am totally for people being allowed to carry a gun if they get it legally and have a permit but there are other people who will always get guns illegally. My "right" to have a gun, that I would only use in an absolute emergency, is someone else's "right" for justice, which they think may mean killing people. My heart began to break and also feel with frustration at the steps we go through to have what I am entitled to while that same feeling can cause some to demand equality while others feel they need to kill to accomplish it. Back to the trash thing: Someone feels that they have a right to do as they please but does that really allow them to throw their trash in someone else's yard? I think sometimes, our entitlement may be the death of us! Because we are a fallen people we will always have things like this happen, which makes me long for a better place! I am not shocked when I see bad things happen in this world because we are a fallen world. I just wish we didn't have to deal with it. I wish that we could all live "other" minded.
(end rant...)
Tonight we listened to the news as families talked about their loved ones being lost. We heard a father talk about remembering the joy his 6 year old daughter had on her community now that she is gone. I began to cry. I remember the pain I felt when Maddy was in ICU and I went home to "rest" while she was in a room with strangers. I remember not being able to sleep because she was gone from my immediate circle. The agony and physical pain of being away form someone you love. Pain so deep that it literally makes your whole body ache. Then I remembered that I was able to take my daughter home but this man will not. This man will have to struggle with this pain every day until Jesus returns or his life on earth is over. If he is a believer he has the joy of knowing that he will see is daughter again someday but if you have lost someone really dear you know that even that isn't a comfort sometimes. It hurts now and the idea of seeing them "one day" doesn't make this "now" hurt any less painful! I cried for him and felt guilty because I get to hug my little ones close and he won't get to do that again. Then that ache returns from my memory and I cry....and I pray....and I stop what I am doing and love on my kids as much as I can and I say, "Jesus, come quickly!"
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