Surgery Day

This morning Nathan and his dad took Maddy to pre-op while I finished up a tutoring class online. I showered and got the kids settled with my folks and then headed over to see my girl. She was put in a gown and we were waiting for them to take her back to put her to sleep for surgery. We life specialist came by and let Maddy choose a flavored chapstick she liked and they put it inside the mask she would be wearing to be put to sleep. She chose Else Grape. When we met with the anesthesiologist, we told her about Maddy's anxiety so they gave her some "happy juice" to calm her a bit before they started that. The team came in and talked about the surgery and what to expect and then they had me put on some clothes to take her back and hold her hand while she fell asleep. 

 Here I am all dressed in my garb to take her back. The "happy juice" had already started kicking in so she was a little loopy and kept asking me, "Are you my mother? (giggle)". Once they put the mask on, she took a few breaths and was out. I got to pull down my mask and kiss her before I left. I walked back to the room to meet Nate's dad and Nate. We went and got some breakfast and coffee and then headed to a waiting area with our pager. They said they'd page us regularly and then the doctor would talk with us at the end. They paged us at 9:50 to say surgery began. While we waited, I worked on a 1000 piece puzzle that I didn't make much headway in :-P and the menfolk slept a bit. They paged us again at 10:45/11ish and then at 12 they paged and said all was done and she did well. They then called us over the intercom to come talk with the doctor. The doctor called us on the phone to tell us that all went as expected and that she did a great job. They removed the hippocampus and he confirmed that it had in fact shrunk quite a bit. We needed to wait 15 minutes and then we could head to the PICU to see her.

 We were relieved to hear all went well and headed back. I think we both expected her to be half asleep but we were welcomed by a very agitated and panicky girl. She kept saying "I don't want to sleep"and "I don't want medicine". Nathan and I came inside and tried to calm her down. We would get her calm and then she'd fall asleep and then wake up in 1 minute with the same panic. It was heartbreaking to see such panic. The nurse gave her some more pain meds and turned down the lights. Nathan and his dad went to get lunch and I snuggled up with her and we both took a nice 30 minute nap. When Daddy and Poppop came back I took my turn for lunch. It was good to process with Nathan's dad a bit about how though it was sad to see her so panicky when we got in there it was also comforting to see that same spunky and determined personality there.

My folks came around 3:30 with Emma and August. My parents came in to visit and then Emma came in and sat in bed with Maddy and they played on the ipad a bit. They left around 4:30 and I settled in to stay the rest of the evening. She has been extremely emotional today -which is completely legit after having brain surgery - and it's been a bit exhausted. I don't think we processed that intensity being there. We should have though, right?!? She will calm down and be giggly and tell jokes and then she will start crying about her head itching or her hands having boo-boos (from the IV) or wanting to pee in the potty rather than the catheter. She also is sad about not being able to be at the Ronald McDonald House with the rest of the family and she's especially sad right now that she can't eat food till the morning. She did - after being very persistent - finally get the catheter taken out and is very happy about that. Right now we are in bed watching "Home" and she will drift off and wake up and say, "Mommy, I almost fell asleep!"

I"m grateful that she's acting normal. I'm grateful that though she's in pain, she can still smile and be silly. I"m grateful that she wants her momma -sorry Daddy! I'm grateful that she's done with this leg of the journey and now we start the healing. Nathan said today, "I never thought this battle with epilepsy defined our family but now that I think of a life where it may not be an issue anymore, I realize how much life will  be different." We are hopeful. Honestly, I think we've been holding our break thinking that that hope of "better" would be too good to be true. But now I look ahead with hope and certainty in His provision. I'm grateful for His hand on the doctors and on our sweet girl and I'm grateful for your prayers, support, encouragement and for the lives that will be and have been touched by Maddy's story.

How can you pray now?
-Pray that her discomfort will get better and the emotions.
-Pray for rest for Nathan and I this evening.
-Tomorrow is Emma's birthday so pray that we can love on both our girls in separate places and rejoice in both without minimizing the excitement of the other.
-Pray for a speedy recovery for our girl.